3 years too many
by RosePearl97
Summary: One-shot about Katie's life after she loses her best friends in a tragic accident that left her scarred for life. Rated T for character death.


I've never suffered so much in my life.

It's been 3 years since it happened. 3 years since my heart broke in two. 3 years since I stopped talking. 3 years since I refused to eat. 3 years since I couldn't sleep without having a nightmare. 3 years since I ignored all my friends. 3 years since my grades plummeted. 3 years since I had an empty look plastered to me. 3 years since I stopped living. 3 years since I lost _them._

I was sitting on my bed, curled up into a ball, staring at the empty wall like I have been everyday. Ever since I lost _them_ I had ripped all the posters, pictures and decorations from my walls, so nothing could remind me of what happened. My mom had stopped trying to help me because there was nothing she could do to help me. Even a therapist couldn't help me. I was eternally broken and scarred, mentally and physically.

My mom was torn apart just as well, but not quite as much as I was. Through the years, she stopped thinking about it and went back to life. Even the other parents moved on to life. Of course they all still felt the pain but it didn't show anymore unless you brought up their names. So why was it I felt the pain more than they did? How could I feel worse than the parents of the kids that died? It was because they died right before my eyes.

My eyes burned with dry tears mixing with new ones as they pooled and trailed down my face. Tears. I hated them more than ever. They made me feel nothing but weak and vulnerable. I never used to cry. My long brown hair covered half of my face as I lay in a ball on my side. My stinging eyes flashed over to the bed stand where a digital clock announced that it was Saturday April 15, 11:20am. My birthday and the date of death for my best friends.

My mom had come in to say happy birthday, but I didn't care enough to respond. She had frowned and left, knowing it was a lost effort. She had stopped getting me presents since I wouldn't do anything with them. Instead 4 little white presents sat next to my clock, untouched and unopened even though I got them 3 years ago.

I try not to remember what happened 3 years ago on my 13th birthday but it always flooded back into my memories like a dam burst. I took a deep shaky breath as I sobbed even more than before as all of it came back.

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!" Everyone in the room shouted as Kendall took off my blind fold. It's been 3 years since we came to Hollywood and my brother's band was a huge hit. I've never been happier and I knew they've never been happier too.

I smiled and hugged my brother as Carlos, Logan and James walked over to give me a hug too. "Thank you guys so much! This is amazing!"

"No problem Katie. You only turn 13 once." Carlos smiled with a hand on my shoulder.

"Exactly. You're officially a teenager now." James proclaimed with his usually bright smile and gave me a pat on the back.

"You're turning into a beautiful little young lady, Katie." Logan smiled flipping my hair at my shoulder.

"Thanks guys. You're the best." I gave them each a hug again and then they left, giving me time alone with my big brother.

"They're right Katie." He smiled warmly. "I guess I'm losing my little sister."

"No you're not, I'll always be your little sister, I just won't always look like it." I smiled wrapping my arms around his waist in a hug.

"I guess you're right baby sister." He smiled as I looked up at him, his green eyes sparkling.

"I always am." I smiled and saw his eyes flicker gently across the room to where Jo was waiting for him by Stephanie and Carlos, Logan and Camille, and James and blonde Jennifer. "You should go over, have fun."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure I got to talk to you before you disappear in the party with Tyler." He teased and I blushed. It was true, I had started dating Tyler. "Katie, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Ask away big brother."

"Do you think I'd be crazy to want to marry Jo?" He asked, a nervous smile playing at his features.

"No, the way you look at each other, it's priceless. I approve of that marriage." I smiled and reached on my tip-toes to kiss his cheek. "Only if you promise me, that you'll be the one to walk me down the aisle at my marriage."

"Of course sis. That, I can promise you." He smiled once more before walking over to where the other guys were.

I walked around greeting guests for the rest of the night, talking to my mom and the other guests and eventually found myself alone with Tyler.

"I wanted to give you something, for your birthday Katie." He handed me a small beige box, wrapped in a red ribbon. I opened it, seeing a gold heart necklace with my name on it.

"Oh Tyler, it's so beautiful. Thank you." I put it on, smiling at him for a while as we sat in quiet.

I didn't see it coming, I don't think either of us did, but he kissed me. And we sat in the perfect kiss for what seemed like forever until we pulled back. I felt a wide smile on my face as it mirrored his.

"Happy Birthday." He whispered.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Tyler time to go." I heard his mom from the other side of the room. We both looked at each other, not wanting him to leave.

"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled and kissed my cheek before leaving with his mom.

I sighed, watching him leave but eventually got up from my spot to find my brother and his friends.

"Hey Katie! Having a great birthday?" Camille asked from next to Logan.

"Yeah, this has to be my best birthday yet." I smiled truthfully.

"Well, it must be. Who got you that necklace? It's so pretty." Stephanie asked, fighting away Carlos who was trying to tickle her.

"Tyler." I blushed.

"Wow, he must really like you." Jo smiled.

"Yeah." I said, trying to avoid telling them what happened before.

"Wait, you're hiding something." Jennifer pressed with a smile. "What happened before he left?"

"Nothing!" I said too hastily.

Kendall gave me the look that said, I know you're hiding something. I was about to admit it when the scariest thing in my life happened. A massive earthquake.

The ground was shaking terribly and everything was moving so much I couldn't see straight. I suddenly felt someone pulling me as I heard past the screams.

"Girls get out of here!" Kendall's frantic voice demanded.

I finally realized Jo was pulling me. "Katie, come on! We have to go!"

"Where's my brother! Where's James, Carlos and Logan!" I struggled away from her grip and finally saw they were helping my mom get out. "GUYS!" I yelled.

My mom ran towards me, pulling me the same way Jo had tried but I refused to move without seeing that my brother, James, Carlos and Logan were coming. I moved slowly once they ran towards us but froze completely when they were coming.

The entire section of ceiling above them collapsed, making them disappear in the piping and title dust. I felt my mom pick me up, running me out of the room until we were outside but I was stuck frozen.

My eyes watered up completely and I broke down crying. I remember nothing but everyone telling me that they could still be alive, that they could be okay but something deep down told me that it was the last time I would ever see them.

* * *

I felt the tears flood down my cheeks as I though about it all. I remembered the funeral where over half of Hollywood came to pay their respects to the lost pop band. I remembered having to move from the Palm Woods and back to Minnesota. I remembered all the sobbing parents and having to face the fact that they were gone. I remembered Tyler still trying to make a long distance relationship work by call, until he realized that I was too broken to even pick up the phone and he stopped calling. I remembered the only things they could find from the rubble were the four white little presents from my best friends, my brothers.

But the hardest thing to remember was the things that would never happen. Kendall would never marry Jo, Carlos wouldn't marry Stephanie, Logan wouldn't marry Camille and James would never marry Jennifer. Kendall would never walk me down the aisle at my wedding. None of them would ever know that I had my first kiss. What could have been the greatest birthday ever, turned into a nightmare.

I closed my eyes, trying to push the hurt down until I was numb like before, but the pain always came back today, harder. I wanted it to disappear. I couldn't go on.

I had sat there like that for an hour, smothering the pain away until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I hadn't heard my mom come in but when I looked up, it was the faces I've been dying to see: Kendall, James, Logan and Carlos.

I sat up, bewildered but happy. "G-Guys?" I hadn't talked in so long that my voice was dry and cracked.

"Hi Katie." They smiled.

"You've really grown a lot." Logan smiled.

"You're just as beautiful as we thought you would be." James smiled.

"How are you all here? You…" I couldn't say the last word.

"We did die Katie, but you shouldn't be killing yourself by mourning." Carlos whispered.

"We wouldn't want you to stay here like this forever. What ever happened to Tyler? What happened to your old friends? You used to be a straight A student and now look." Kendall frowned but put a hand under my chin to make me look him in the eyes. "You can do so much better Katie. You shouldn't put so much effort into doing nothing with your life."

"You have so much potential Katie, and you're wasting it by doing nothing." Logan pointed out in his matter-of-factly voice.

"We want you to move on. Don't dwell on the past, move on to the future." James said, the smartest thing I've ever heard him say.

"You can do it Katie." Carlos smiled softly.

I nodded, more tears spilling over. "I miss you guys." I whispered.

"We know Katie. But it's been three years too many to keep mourning. We know you can do it." Kendall smiled, kissing my cheek and I hugged him as the others joined the hug. "Open your presents, we know they'll help."

I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling but when I opened my eyes, they were gone. I felt more tears come once I realized they were gone again but I wiped them away and looked at the presents on the table.

I picked up the first one from James. Inside was their entire different album collection of their music, the music that let me hear their voices anytime I wanted.

I picked up the next one from Logan. Inside that one was a book of things they've written about me, it was really thick too.

Next I picked up Carlos'. In that one it was a scrapbook of different wacky adventures we had, like the time we tricked Bitters' out of a car.

The last was from Kendall. It was a DVD labeled "Katie". I got up and put it in the DVD player that had remained unused. I slid it in, turning on the TV in the process.

The entire DVD was a collection of all the things we had been through and done since I was 2. There were even times where I didn't see they were recording me, like my first date with Tyler.

All the memories, no matter how sad it made me, also made me realize how much I was missing.

I turned off the TV as it finished and picked up the phone next to it, dialing Tyler's number. And for the first time in 3 years, I was smiling and living.

THE END


End file.
